wow God, I'm such a lousy sisterMOM =(
this morning I totally overslept (again) and woke up at 8:00am. as a consequence, Sam had no breakfast, no lunch, plus he was gonna be late for his 0° choir class. i jumped outta bed and was gonna drive Sam to school, remembering that daddy's car was parked in our garage... but only to discover that another car was blocking our driveway! so Sam ended up taking the bus and was all flustered and mad at me, threatening to tell Mom about everything =/ i gave him $3 for lunch (yeahh lunch is relatively cheap(er) for middle schoolers), wrote a note to his teacher and prayed to God that he would not be terribly late for choir (another tardy and he will not be able to graduate, he claims!) as Sam scrambled out the door.
the whole day at school was sorta blahhh for me too. i was like the girl with a broken smile. just feeling pretty out of it and not cheerful or chirpy. just feeling blahhhh and sighing a lot. except during Quiet Times/journaling in the library. ahh that was when my mind was FINALLY at peace and rest -- because I was with the Lord. because I drew near to Him and called on Him earnestly, desperately. i asked for Him to save me because i felt sooooo tired from this "current struggle". i meditated on Psalm 23 yet again today and even rewrote it using my own words in light of the current situation I'm in and what I've been feeling.
couldn't really concentrate that much the rest of the day. i whizzed through chemistry hw, only cuz it was gonna be due in like an hour.. not really paying attention to how to draw certain molecules and make particular reactions because my heart just wasn't into it. prolly big mistake since my last midterm for chem is this thursday.. oh wellz. kinda struggled to pay attention in class too. kept zoning out on my profs =/ (WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME??!! I DONT WANNA BE A BAD STUDENT!!) keep getting distracted... which really sucks...
i breathed a huge sigh (of relief) as class finally ended for the day at 3:30pm. on the bus ride home i get a call from someone who i havent spoken to in a loooong time. i was actually feeling a little anxious about our conversation all morning and had to bring it to the Lord in prayer a few times. told that person i was on the bus and would call when i got home. we ended up talking for ~1.5 hours. twas good. hard at certain points but good. praise the LORD. im glad we talked, i had been meaning to have this conversation for weeks now. *huge sigh of relief*
then i went to Sam's last orchestra concert of his middle school career at 7pm. (when his little buddies saw me, they were like "HI SAM'S SISTER!!!" haha cute) then we bussed home, i fixed him dinner as he took a shower (Burmese coconut chicken noodles, again), watched some videos together on Youtube, and now it's bedtime for both of us.
better day tomorrow please, God. please please make me into a better big sister. and please give my soul rest so i won't think so much about you-know-what. without You, i just fail miserably. thanks.
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