It's been over 3 years since you and me were no more. August 4, 2013 to be exact. A lot has happened during those 365 x 3 days+ that have gone by. God humbled me, grew me, changed me, sanctified me, transformed me, dealt with me, wounded me, healed me, taught me, sustained me, comforted me, disciplined me, led me, loved me in ways that I would have never known had what happened between us not had happened. Nonetheless, it was/still is the most painful and difficult trial I ever had to endure in my short 28 years on this earth, and in many ways I feel that it's something I still have to "endure" to this day.
Though visiting the past can be hard and uneasy, I'm glad and thankful that we were able to talk last night after you helped me move with the others. Last night was a lot of stimulation for my brain. In addition to physical exhaustion from all the moving, lifting, and climbing up and down flights of stairs multiple times, there were too many men of particular significance in my life, all in the same room all at once. Little did you know that there's actually a history with each of you minus one, though admittedly I felt very blessed and grateful for each of your presence and servantheartedness in offering me aid.
I know it's been over 3 years, but to say that I've completely 100% moved on would not be entirely honest. Yet I know to put my hope in anything else aside from Christ is foolishness. But after all this time, somehow my heart still believes that you are the one. But not the One. Just, the one. But only God knows, and He will tell in His timing, and at the end of the day He gets to decide if you really are the one. In the meantime I just have to wait, patiently. Something I don't always do well but desire to learn, because my Savior was longsufferingly patient. And I always want to be just like my Savior, the One whom I love most.
