Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Corrie ten Boom: A Faith Undefeated
Look around and be distressed.
Look within and be depressed.
Look at Jesus and be at rest.
-Corrie ten Boom
Look within and be depressed.
Look at Jesus and be at rest.
-Corrie ten Boom
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Sometimes the most loving thing God can do for us is to make us WAIT
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/do-you-hate-to-wait
“When God says, ‘Later,’ he turns up the emotional volume knob to reveal what’s in our heart.”
"There is no answer for these sufferings, except that God is God. But that answer leaves us with a tension that is, at least emotionally, irresolvable. We ask why God would put us through a difficult season of waiting only to pull the rug out from under us, and we question his trustworthiness, his character, and even his love... God never promises a reason. He rarely offers an answer. He will always offer himself. And I (reluctantly) cannot think of a more persuasive way for God to present himself to a sinful heart than through rising anticipation, and the free fall of disappointment."
“Praise Jesus that I don’t get what I want when I want it.”
“When God says, ‘Later,’ he turns up the emotional volume knob to reveal what’s in our heart.”
"There is no answer for these sufferings, except that God is God. But that answer leaves us with a tension that is, at least emotionally, irresolvable. We ask why God would put us through a difficult season of waiting only to pull the rug out from under us, and we question his trustworthiness, his character, and even his love... God never promises a reason. He rarely offers an answer. He will always offer himself. And I (reluctantly) cannot think of a more persuasive way for God to present himself to a sinful heart than through rising anticipation, and the free fall of disappointment."
“Praise Jesus that I don’t get what I want when I want it.”
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
email to my pastor
Do you remember the first sermon you preached for summer GOC two Thursdays ago? It was on God's attribute of holiness. It was really powerful -- each word hit me right here *pounds chest*. I believe it ultimately wasn't you but the Holy Spirit through you speaking to me and others in the room. These days the Lord has been deeply convicting me of how terrible a sinner I really am - truly no better than a criminal or prostitute or Pharisee - deserving of death, yet what I received was grace and forgiveness of sins.
God's doing a deep work in me. Sometimes it feels like it's going so slowly, but I realize that a lot of times it's my own sin and rebelliousness that's "impeding" God's work. Sometimes I also feel that my sins are "beyond cure" because they're so bad, but even in thinking that way I find myself detracting from the Gospel and Christ's death on the cross. In the end, I'm thankful that God is powerful and sovereign even over my sin and that His plans for me cannot be thwarted. What a relief!
Jeremiah 9:23-24 has been my daily prayer ever since you read it during call to worship two Thursdays ago. I've been meditating on and praying over those verses.
I just want to say thank you for preaching the Word of God so faithfully.
Your Sister in the Faith,
Frances
P.S. And your advice on finding out my weak areas and improving on those -- God has been faithful in revealing my weaknesses. Soooo messy and painful, but so worth it in the end.
God's doing a deep work in me. Sometimes it feels like it's going so slowly, but I realize that a lot of times it's my own sin and rebelliousness that's "impeding" God's work. Sometimes I also feel that my sins are "beyond cure" because they're so bad, but even in thinking that way I find myself detracting from the Gospel and Christ's death on the cross. In the end, I'm thankful that God is powerful and sovereign even over my sin and that His plans for me cannot be thwarted. What a relief!
Jeremiah 9:23-24 has been my daily prayer ever since you read it during call to worship two Thursdays ago. I've been meditating on and praying over those verses.
I just want to say thank you for preaching the Word of God so faithfully.
Your Sister in the Faith,
Frances
P.S. And your advice on finding out my weak areas and improving on those -- God has been faithful in revealing my weaknesses. Soooo messy and painful, but so worth it in the end.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
thanks God for messing up my life plan
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/when-god-messes-with-your-life-plan
God seriously messed up Joseph's and Abraham’s life plans, and it turned out to be a really good thing. God accomplished for each of them what they could never have accomplished on their own.
I, too, have no personal life plan now. And I'm content leaving it that way. Because my God will make known to me in due time what He wants me to do.
God seriously messed up Joseph's and Abraham’s life plans, and it turned out to be a really good thing. God accomplished for each of them what they could never have accomplished on their own.
I, too, have no personal life plan now. And I'm content leaving it that way. Because my God will make known to me in due time what He wants me to do.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
I unexpectedly saw him on Wednesday night after GSM.
I was coming out of 424 Kelton and looked across the street. I saw him standing there in front of 423 Kelton. I had just prayed during GSM that God would give me acceptance in my heart to accept how things are now between us, to be able to move on, to trust that it is good even if it hurts because it is God's will. I want to be a part of God's plan, His tapestry - not my own. I did not expect to see him that night, out of the blue. But the moment I saw him I wanted to walk up to him, to see his face, to talk with him. But the Lord prevented that from happening that night, and my heart grieved immensely.
"Frances, sometimes you have to learn to say no and walk away."
The sibling in Christ I was walking with told me it was best if I did not go up to talk to him. I didn't want to hear that, and I didn't want to walk away. It wounded me to have to walk away from the thing I loved most aside from Christ, but that was what I had to do again that night. I cried all the way home while driving down the 405, tears flowing down my eyes, saying truths out loud to myself because of the overwhelming pain I felt in my heart.
"God, thank you for being my God." "Thank you that you are good to me." "God, thank you that you love me."
This week I had several "missions-y" encounters. Went to church after work on Thursday night to catch the last two hours of the missions convocation by Lincoln Global. Saw him there. Went to church after work on Friday night for SuperStudy. Unexpectedly saw him there again. I wasn't sure if he would have been back in San Diego by then. Today group of brothers and sisters and I spent time with the Ayres, missionaries who had just come back from Malawi. Hearing them share about their time in Malawi, I thought of him and wish he was here, knowing that he would have been blessed to hear the sharing. Basically anything missions-related.
We did end up talking, and I was glad about that. There is something irreplaceable about him. And often times when I think of the Lord and the lessons He's teaching me and life and the Gospel and missions, he naturally comes into my thoughts as well. But when he had to leave, when he said goodbye and left that night after SuperStudy, my heart hurt. I felt a literal physiological response in my heart muscle similar to a painful paralysis. A pain that has been familiar to my heart the past year, yet it stings afresh each time it comes. When he walked away, I couldn't breathe for a few moments. As the pain settled in, my mind was no longer fully there in the conversation that I was having with a few brothers about missions.
If it weren't for the self control of the Spirit, I think I would have run after him and told him to please stay and don't go. Please, let's talk some more. Please, tell me that you still care about me. Please, tell me that you still want to do missions together and live life pursuing the Lord together...
God, as you teach me acceptance and contentment in light of all that's happened between him and me, please kindly grant my heart healing and peace and rest. Give me hope for the future, and make clear your plans for me with respect to missions. Please bring clarity and direction to my future, for I am lost without You.
I was coming out of 424 Kelton and looked across the street. I saw him standing there in front of 423 Kelton. I had just prayed during GSM that God would give me acceptance in my heart to accept how things are now between us, to be able to move on, to trust that it is good even if it hurts because it is God's will. I want to be a part of God's plan, His tapestry - not my own. I did not expect to see him that night, out of the blue. But the moment I saw him I wanted to walk up to him, to see his face, to talk with him. But the Lord prevented that from happening that night, and my heart grieved immensely.
"Frances, sometimes you have to learn to say no and walk away."
The sibling in Christ I was walking with told me it was best if I did not go up to talk to him. I didn't want to hear that, and I didn't want to walk away. It wounded me to have to walk away from the thing I loved most aside from Christ, but that was what I had to do again that night. I cried all the way home while driving down the 405, tears flowing down my eyes, saying truths out loud to myself because of the overwhelming pain I felt in my heart.
"God, thank you for being my God." "Thank you that you are good to me." "God, thank you that you love me."
This week I had several "missions-y" encounters. Went to church after work on Thursday night to catch the last two hours of the missions convocation by Lincoln Global. Saw him there. Went to church after work on Friday night for SuperStudy. Unexpectedly saw him there again. I wasn't sure if he would have been back in San Diego by then. Today group of brothers and sisters and I spent time with the Ayres, missionaries who had just come back from Malawi. Hearing them share about their time in Malawi, I thought of him and wish he was here, knowing that he would have been blessed to hear the sharing. Basically anything missions-related.
We did end up talking, and I was glad about that. There is something irreplaceable about him. And often times when I think of the Lord and the lessons He's teaching me and life and the Gospel and missions, he naturally comes into my thoughts as well. But when he had to leave, when he said goodbye and left that night after SuperStudy, my heart hurt. I felt a literal physiological response in my heart muscle similar to a painful paralysis. A pain that has been familiar to my heart the past year, yet it stings afresh each time it comes. When he walked away, I couldn't breathe for a few moments. As the pain settled in, my mind was no longer fully there in the conversation that I was having with a few brothers about missions.
If it weren't for the self control of the Spirit, I think I would have run after him and told him to please stay and don't go. Please, let's talk some more. Please, tell me that you still care about me. Please, tell me that you still want to do missions together and live life pursuing the Lord together...
God, as you teach me acceptance and contentment in light of all that's happened between him and me, please kindly grant my heart healing and peace and rest. Give me hope for the future, and make clear your plans for me with respect to missions. Please bring clarity and direction to my future, for I am lost without You.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
I have never felt as much sadness, pain, loneliness, and grief as I have in the past year starting in August 2013 to now.
To be completely honest, it's hard for me to trust You right now. My heart is filled with many doubts and questions, and a gloomy cloud of depression hangs over my head when I wake up in the morning these days.
My heart feels very calloused towards people and the world around me. There's been so much that happened the past year. I've tried to reach out for help, but no one seems to care or notice. I want to run away and hide, but there's no where to go and no one to turn to.
But Simon Peter's words pop into my mind: "Lord, to whom shall I go? You have the words of eternal life..."
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