Funny Story #2

Yesterday I admitted an older gentleman who had a syncopal episode (loss consciousness and kinda fell on the street)

He was such a darling older man but did have quite a bit of forgetfulness and would repeat things.  Possibly early-onset dementia

While I was doing a head to toe assessment on him, he looked me in the eye, leaned forward towards me, and whispered (totally out of the blue, no warning, so random), "Would you like me to introduce you to someone?" and smiled genuinely.  Immediately I knew he meant a suitor.

I laughed out loud and jokingly responded, "Are they going to be 75 year olds like you?" and he said "Yes".

It was pretty cute, and I know he meant well, but I'm not sure if he was able to connect the dot that 27yr old me would noooot be interested in a 75yr old anybody hahaha

Funny Story

From November 12, 2015

Today at work one of my co-workers randomly whispered to me, "Frances are you taking weed?"

Shocked why he would even suspect that, I replied firmly "no..."

Then I realized I had misheard him and he had actually asked, "Frances are you losing weight?", to which I also said no

Apparently he thinks I look thinner. (Guess I looked fat to him before?) Must be all the stress from work

Evidence of Healing

Last Wednesday evening at church during Discipleship Counseling class, I sat in the back because I got there a couple minutes late and all the table seats (where I would normally be sitting) were filled up.  Sovereignly, I ended up sitting two seats to the left of someone whom I had recognized to be the husband of an old acquaintance.

Being the friendly-and-not-shy girl that I am (most of the time), I turned to him during our 5 minute break and initiated conversation.

"Are you Taeree's husband?"

To my relief (because there was still a slight chance that I could have been wrong), he replied, "Yeah.  And you're Tae's girlfriend...?"

Though he asked with some hesitancy in his voice, it was interesting to me that that was what he associated me with.  Goes to show that he and his wife must have really been out of the loop over the past couple of years, but I don't blame them since they were never close friends of mine or super involved in my life or anything.

"We're not together anymore, it's been over 2 years," I replied with calmness and a smile - both of which were genuine.  He then apologized but I told him that it was okay and meant it.

At that moment, I found my heart crack into a wide grin while rejoicing and praising the Lord.  Wow, had this same interaction happened a year ago (and it did during summer GOC at UCLA in 2014.  Was catching up with one of the undershepherds and then he asks me: "How's Tae doing?.... Gasp, oh... I'm sorry, I didn't know you guys weren't together anymore..." *awkwardness ensues*), it would have still been so hard and sensitive for my heart and I probably would have gotten emotional and wanted to cry.  But this time around, it didn't sting.  Not one bit.  It didn't hurt me anymore or make me feel sad, grieved, awkward, or even miss what I once had.  And I believe all this is a result from a heart that has finally fully accepted what the Lord has chosen to give me (or in this case, take away) - all in His love, grace, wisdom, and sovereign care over my soul.  This little incident and how I responded to it, by the grace of God, was evidence of healing from perhaps the most painful, traumatic, stressful, difficult yet good, blessed, fruitful, sanctifying trial I've experienced in my life thusfar.

God is sooooo good indeed!  To Him be all glory, praise, and honor forever!

Be Thou My Vision

Missed the freeway exit while driving home again tonight because I couldn't see clearly.  This is the second time it's happened over the past couple of weeks due to vision issues.  Been noticing that my eyes have been getting increasingly blurry, especially in the evening while driving but also noticeably during the daytime as well.  Like today when I was working in the hospital.  Had a headache and photo-sensitivity coupled with blurry vision, even though I was wearing my glasses.  I wonder if I'm going blind?  Hope not... Maybe it's just fatigue.  After all, I have been sleep deprived and been pretty busy and exhausted these days.  So much going on, life is so fast-paced and full, feels like I'm barely keeping up sometimes.

Thankfully I was able to make an appointment to get my eyes checked tomorrow.  Totally the grace of God that I was able to get a referral from my primary since I have HMO AND book an appointment all while I was at work today.  Truly a miracle.

How fitting it is for the hymn Be Thou My Vision to come to mind during this time.

Last Day at the Lins' + New Home

Saturday 9/26 was my last day living here with the Lins in Reseda.  Definitely a bittersweet day.  The past 2 months living here have been such a joy, comfort, and answer to prayer.  I am so thankful to God for providing this opportunity to live with my dear friends Lisa and Stanley and their baby boy (soon to be toddler) Asher, as well as baby #2 Acacia who is due in December!.

Things I will miss:

• driving into the garage every night after work and having a parking spot that's indoors
• my own little "room" down in the basement/storage area where it was my private little space
• the pitch blackness of my "room" when the lights were off since there are no windows
• the quiet and privacy of my own secluded space
• using the Ninja blender with which I would make fruit and veggie smoothies
• getting cheap(er) gas at Costco since the Lins have a Costco card!
• the piano that is in my "room" to which I had access to and would sometimes randomly play in the evening at 9pm or the first thing after I wake up in the morning at 9am (will SUPER miss the piano!)
• receiving handwritten notes from Lisa, which I would find on the dining table when I come home from a long day of work, as well as leaving her notes for her to read when she wakes in the morning

But what I will miss MOST is seeing, fellowshipping, and spending sweet time with my beloved Lins as frequently as I got to the past two months.

Yesterday Sunday 9/27 I moved to Koreatown/Downtown LA area to be near USC GOC, the ministry to which I have committed to serve this year.  It was also my 5th time moving over the span of the past 2 years.  Definitely a lot of work packing, moving, and unpacking/rearranging/reorganizing once again (at times a bit overwhelming and dreadful, I confess), but I was very thankful for the three servant-hearted brothers (Jacky, Whisly, and Albert) who helped me transport my belongings in Westwood to my new home in the "hood".  Super grateful for the family of God!  And thankful for this new opportunity to live in a new place with new roommates to love and serve.  Looking forward to sanctification and growing in Christ-likeness :D

Strands of Sorrow

Hi friends, how were your days?

A confused patient spat medications mixed with applesauce at my face+glasses this morning. These were my favorite glasses; I recently got new lenses in Macau too. Guess the Lord was teaching me still the lesson to hold all things with an open hand, even glasses. Then someone accidentally walked in on me while I was peeing this afternoon. I felt so embarrassed, hoping that they didn't see me because I was in the middle of wiping my butt. I'm also slowly recovering from deep and grievous discouragement from a super painful time interacting with unkind people who I, sadly, call my relatives at a cousin's wedding yesterday evening.

But otherwise, all is well because of God's great love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjOboFsaxzk

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Each strand of sorrow has a place
Within this tapestry of grace;
So through the trials I choose to say:
"Your perfect will in Your perfect way."

While driving the long journey back to Reseda from San Juan Capistrano last night after the wedding (with poofy and swollen eyes that were also blurry from all my crying), I listened to ^ that song on repeat a few times. That stanza stuck out to me and was a good reminder that God's will is perfect and that He is still in control.

Man of Sorrows, Acquainted with Grief

Isaiah 53 brought me comfort this week as I pressed on through one of the most grueling, exhausting, challenging, trying, physically and mentally draining weeks I've had to endure in a long time.

All glory and praise be to Jesus

Who has believed what he has heard from us?1

And to whom has hthe arm of the Lord been revealed?

2  For he grew up before him like a young plant,

iand like a root out of dry ground;

jhe had no form or majesty that we should look at him,

and no beauty that we should desire him.

3  kHe was despised and rejected2 by men;

a man of sorrows,3 and acquainted with4 grief;5

and as one from whom men hide their faces6

he was despised, and lwe esteemed him not.

4  mSurely he has borne our griefs

and carried our sorrows;

yet we esteemed him stricken,

nsmitten by God, and afflicted.

5  oBut he was pierced for our transgressions;

he was crushed for our iniquities;

upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,

pand with his wounds we are healed.

6  qAll we like sheep have gone astray;

we have turned—every one—to his own way;

rand the Lord has laid on him

the iniquity of us all.

7  He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,

syet he opened not his mouth;

tlike a ulamb that is led to the slaughter,

and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,

so he opened not his mouth.

8  By oppression and judgment he was taken away;

and as for his generation, vwho considered

that he was cut off out of the land of the living,

stricken for the transgression of my people?

9  And they made his grave with the wicked

wand with a rich man in his death,

although xhe had done no violence,

and there was no deceit in his mouth.

10  Yet yit was the will of the Lord to crush him;

he has put him to grief;7

zwhen his soul makes8 an offering for guilt,

he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;

athe will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.

11  Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see9 and be satisfied;

by his knowledge shall bthe righteous one, my servant,

cmake many to be accounted righteous,

dand he shall bear their iniquities.

12  eTherefore I will divide him a portion with the many,10

fand he shall divide the spoil with the strong,11

because he poured out his soul to death

and was numbered with the transgressors;

gyet he bore the sin of many,

and makes intercession for the transgressors.