You Slay and Ruin Me

Lord, today it is very hard to worship You and trust.  I feel so broken, so ashamed, regretful that I had called K in my weakness and that I gave in, sad and sorry to have made him upset, for always making him upset even without trying or doing it on purpose.  I am so grieved, it is stupid and silly but thoughts of dying and being no more seem appealing, because I don't want to deal with the pain and hurt any longer.  I don't want to fight anymore, I kind of want to give up.  The below lyrics are timely, but I honestly am not able to sing it like I mean it right now.

Though You Slay Me

I come, God, I come
I return to the Lord
The one who’s broken
The one who’s torn me apart
You strike down to bind me up
You say you do it all in love
That I might know you in your suffering

Though you slay me
Yet I will praise you
Though you take from me
I will bless your name
Though you ruin me
Still I will worship
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need

My heart and flesh may fail
The earth below give way
But with my eyes, with my eyes I’ll see the Lord
Lifted high on that day
Behold, the Lamb that was slain
And I’ll know every tear was worth it all

Though you slay me
Yet I will praise you
Though you take from me
I will bless your name
Though you ruin me
Still I will worship
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need

Though tonight I’m crying out
Let this cup pass from me now
You’re still more than I need
You’re enough for me
You’re enough for me