Still sick but thankful

My cold has worsened since coming back to LA, definitely over the last two days.  After my 12-hour shift today, almost lost my voice (it's very hoarse), nasal congestion, muscle aches, super exhausted.  It's still been emotionally intense and sorrowful for me, lots of crying on Friday night after work when I caught the end of GOC, and lots of crying on Saturday.  Woke up feeling depressed and literally had to force myself out of bed to go to Lisa's baby shower and the USC GOC Girls' Tea Time (originally there was supposed to be a Staff Panel which I was to be a part of).  My heart still felt deeply hurt and broken over the relationship that just ended, and I guess it was missing K too...

But God swept in and eventually lifted me up.  I'll have to explain in a different post how He went about doing it, because it wasn't a sudden 180 degree switch.  It was a more gradual, subtle, even prolonged process through which He wisely orchestrated and used various means and people and encounters and words and sharings and truth to minister to my heart.

Today, I am feeling grateful for my Savior.  Weeping may tarry for a night, but joy comes in the morning.  I am so very thankful that Sam and Ethan are here in LA these few days.  Even though I am full-blown sick, I am surprised that my spirit feels alive and quickened, and so very eager and motivated to love and serve.  I'ts really been a joy loving on and serving Sam and Ethan these past couple days: driving them to places, preparing them meals, packing them breakfast, cooking dinner, treating them out to eat... This quote comes from theologian Frederick Buechner comes to mind: 'Vocation is where our greatest passion meets the world's greatest need'.  Doesn't correlate 100%, but the sentiment is there.  I derive great joy and delight in loving/serving my younger brothers by meeting their needs.  So thankful God sovereignly brought them to LA during this time of great mourning and sorrow for me over the breakup and severance of special relationship, that I may not focus on myself and my pain/grief/hurt/sadness during this time of loss but rather, focus my attention on serving others and meeting their needs.  And in so doing, I am being selfless.  Selflessness = Loving God and loving others.  And that is pleasing to God.  My heart smiles in contentment and gladness.

God, You are good all the time.  I will praise You as I lay my head down to sleep.  You have been faithful, I know You will be again.