Time flies. It really does, especially when you're busy. So this semester has been super duper busy for me, as I have emphasized before in previous posts (and in person, if you've been hanging out with me haha). But it's been a good kind of busy. Makes my days feel full and productive. Because I had to take a lighter load last semester, in a way I'm compensating and making up for that by taking 5 academic classes + Gospel Choir, so a total of 6 classes this Spring. I've definitely been more involved with ICA this semester. In addition to church and small/large group, I now have discipleship with Sally and also Servant Leaders/V-SET trainings on some weekends. I've also been finding a lot of joy from hanging out and keeping in touch with people, so social life has also been keeping me "on my feet". The past 2 weeks have been pretty crazy, midterms have been raining down on me one after another. It's pretty brutal finishing a midterm one day and then having to switch gears immediately afterward to study for another midterm the next day. Not to mention being sleep deprived. So I've been averaging about 4-5 hours of sleep lately. Not good, but thankful that I haven't broken down or crashed (yet) and that my immune system is still pretty much in tact. Oh, how good and sweet is your grace God! But always being busy and constantly on-the-go is not necessarily a good thing, especially if it causes you to minimize or completely cut out spending quality time with God. It's kinda like being in a relationship. If you truly love the person with whom you're in a relationship, you wouldn't just call them once a week or even once a day and just plainly say "hi" and then go on to finish the bajillion things you have to get down for the day. Likewise, God doesn't appreciate our "leftovers" but would love to spend quality time with us while we are fully and wholeheartedly there and at our best. Lately I've been really challenged to be able to do my Quiet Times daily, and not just doing them and checking that off my "To Do" list, but really spending quality time in the Word, marinating in what I read, praying to God and quietly listening to how He would speak to me today.
I just realized today that Spring Break is just around the corner (the week after next week!), and oddly I'm actually not THAT excited about it. I actually thought that Spring Break was the last week of March but apparently it's March 22-26. I think the thought that the day of graduation is inching nearer and nearer and that very soon I will no longer be an undergrad college student at Cal scares me. The thought of having to move on and enter the "real world" frightens me just a bit. Plus, I've really been enjoying this semester and finding a lot of joy in my day through my Lord and Savior, despite daily preoccupations and exhaustion. It's been pretty good, and I'm sorta in the mode of wanting this state of things to last forever. But life goes on and can't stay one way for eternity. And ultimately, I think the uncertainty of the future sorta scares me, but at the same time it can be exciting just seeing what God has in store for me. I used to be bothered by the fact that I can't see wayyy ahead of my life, like what I'll be doing in five years and where I'll be living and who I will marry... I used to wish that God could just throw down a map that has all the directions carefully mapped out for me to walk and that I could visibly see it and follow. But that's not how God operates, for His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). God reveals to us His plan for us each day at a time, like a scroll that He slowly unfolds day by day. And I take ultimate comfort and assurance in knowing where my soul is bound if and should I leave this earth "early". So it's all good. Sometimes it's hard to remember to think of things in the light of eternity when we're so fixated in the "today" and on ourselves.
I've also realized that I haven't really been fully enjoying Chinese like I use to, rather it be doing the readings of the articles or writing my homework assignments. Maybe it's because it's reaaaallly hard and tough, plus this unit we're on politics and I'm not a huge fan of discussing Chinese/Taiwan political issues =/ God, please give me strength to finish my three Chinese assignments due tomorrow.
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