Got off the phone not too long ago with him, we talked for close to an hour and half over a serious matter concerning a third party. It was a very helpful conversation, seasoned with much wisdom, thoughtfulness, godliness, patience, tact, grace. I really really appreciated it, as the conversation was incredibly helpful, and the person with whom I was speaking greatly ministered to my sinful soul. So non-judgmental, patient, gracious, caring, gentle with his words, as if almost saying exactly what I needed to hear at the exact time, it seemed (almost too perfect, this feels uncanny). Praise the Lord!
We prayed together in closing (he did) as I knelt on the floor. I echoed every word of his heartfelt, beautiful, honest prayer. I'm so very thankful for that - to be able to confess, share honestly without fear of judgment or thinking the other would think less of me, mutually encourage, grow in godliness, love, humility, forbearance, seeking the Lord together... *sighhhhh*
Oh, but my heart...! I'm afraid of resurrection of certain feelings and fond affection that I thought had miraculously (supernaturally) disappeared. Especially if it's one-sided. Sigh, I don't know what I'm actually feeling... and perhaps it's just strong feelings and emotions, which are fickle and not to be trusted nor acted upon because they are so unreliable. Lord, You would have to give me a sure sign of confirmation. Until then, I need to set my face as flint to guard my heart.
I don't know if I should end this post with a :/ or a :) All I know is that I must continue fixing my eyes on Jesus and His cross. I'm a big sinner who needs much MUCH saving, constantly.
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