Maybe I'll regret saying this later but as of now, it pretty much SUCKS being back in America.
Right now I'm at home in San Francisco, California. Us V-SETters landed in LAX on Friday, August 13 afternoon. I stayed in Socal a day and a half and arrived up here in Norcal SF on Sunday evening after a long 7-hour bus ride. The following day (Monday) was the first day of school at City College of San Francisco, which was pretty sucky as well because I was not only late to my first class but didn't get into the class I'm trying to add (physiology). It's also been pretty tough because I'm still pretty jetlagged. Must be the time zone difference because I'm so sleepy at random parts of the day and by the time nighttime comes, I'm already pretty pooped out. Plus I have to wake up early in the mornings to take the bus to school and I REALLLLLY don't wanna rise up in the mornings.
V-SET was surely a life-changing experience. God used this summer to grow me in many ways and blessed me soooooo much through V-SET because He LOVES me. At the same time, God taught me soooooo many lessons (many of which I am still in the process of learning) and also revealed many sins in my heart - one being how selfish and conditional my love is. There is really no comparison between my love and GOD'S LOVE - His amazing, unconditional, unfailing, great great LOVE which is better than life! And I realized more than ever that MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IS THE BESTEST, BEAUTIFULEST, MOST IMPORTANT THING. I'm still in the process of processing and reflecting on everything that happened on V-SET this summer... it's sorta overwhelming because there's so much to take in and yet there's so much happening around me already.
So the plan for me this upcoming year is (was?) to finish taking pre-requisites at CCSF so that I can apply to nursing school this fall, live at home with my parents, look for a part-time job, and perhaps continue serving in ICA Berkeley ministry. But yeah, now everything is pretty much up in the air, especially after my experiences on V-SET this summer. I feel that God has definitely planted a seed in my heart for missions and the lost. I don't even know where my heart is right now in terms of if I really want to do nursing school anymore, or at least as of right now. I mean, if I hear God's audible voice telling me to drop everything and give up nursing school and all my ambitions to go long-term overseas to serve Him, I would do that in a heartbeat. Or the converse. If He tells me to continue to pursue my education/career in America as a nurse and serve Him that way, I'd do it in an instant (I have a feeling this is what my parents are leaning towards). But that's not the case because I don't hear Him telling me to do either of those exactly. Actually I don't really hear Him telling me to do anything specific as of right now. Sigh. I feel sorta blahhhhh. I don't know, maybe this is what they call post-VSET syndrome or something. All I know is that I miss V-SET a lot already and often think of my students, my team, V-SET in general, Kyrgyzstan, China, and all that God's taught me this summer. And I would much much rather be back in Bishkek or Talas teaching English or EVing in Beijing than be here in the States... but maybe this is exactly where God is calling me to be right now.
So yeah... sorry to end on a gloomy note. But in any case, I will definitely be YARPIN' HARDDD (yarping = praying backwards... kinda got used to using camouflaged Christian lingo on V-SET) and it would be super appreciated if you could also be praying for me as well. Thanks! Oh, Sweet Jesus. I'm just so thankful for my Savior, Redeemer, Best Friend, Comforter, source of Undying Love, Hope, and Eternal Life.
By the way if you're reading this, I probably did/do miss you and want to catchup with you. Thank you for all your support and prayers this summer!
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