Strands of Sorrow

Hi friends, how were your days?

A confused patient spat medications mixed with applesauce at my face+glasses this morning. These were my favorite glasses; I recently got new lenses in Macau too. Guess the Lord was teaching me still the lesson to hold all things with an open hand, even glasses. Then someone accidentally walked in on me while I was peeing this afternoon. I felt so embarrassed, hoping that they didn't see me because I was in the middle of wiping my butt. I'm also slowly recovering from deep and grievous discouragement from a super painful time interacting with unkind people who I, sadly, call my relatives at a cousin's wedding yesterday evening.

But otherwise, all is well because of God's great love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjOboFsaxzk

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Each strand of sorrow has a place
Within this tapestry of grace;
So through the trials I choose to say:
"Your perfect will in Your perfect way."

While driving the long journey back to Reseda from San Juan Capistrano last night after the wedding (with poofy and swollen eyes that were also blurry from all my crying), I listened to ^ that song on repeat a few times. That stanza stuck out to me and was a good reminder that God's will is perfect and that He is still in control.

Man of Sorrows, Acquainted with Grief

Isaiah 53 brought me comfort this week as I pressed on through one of the most grueling, exhausting, challenging, trying, physically and mentally draining weeks I've had to endure in a long time.

All glory and praise be to Jesus

Who has believed what he has heard from us?1

And to whom has hthe arm of the Lord been revealed?

2  For he grew up before him like a young plant,

iand like a root out of dry ground;

jhe had no form or majesty that we should look at him,

and no beauty that we should desire him.

3  kHe was despised and rejected2 by men;

a man of sorrows,3 and acquainted with4 grief;5

and as one from whom men hide their faces6

he was despised, and lwe esteemed him not.

4  mSurely he has borne our griefs

and carried our sorrows;

yet we esteemed him stricken,

nsmitten by God, and afflicted.

5  oBut he was pierced for our transgressions;

he was crushed for our iniquities;

upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,

pand with his wounds we are healed.

6  qAll we like sheep have gone astray;

we have turned—every one—to his own way;

rand the Lord has laid on him

the iniquity of us all.

7  He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,

syet he opened not his mouth;

tlike a ulamb that is led to the slaughter,

and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,

so he opened not his mouth.

8  By oppression and judgment he was taken away;

and as for his generation, vwho considered

that he was cut off out of the land of the living,

stricken for the transgression of my people?

9  And they made his grave with the wicked

wand with a rich man in his death,

although xhe had done no violence,

and there was no deceit in his mouth.

10  Yet yit was the will of the Lord to crush him;

he has put him to grief;7

zwhen his soul makes8 an offering for guilt,

he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;

athe will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.

11  Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see9 and be satisfied;

by his knowledge shall bthe righteous one, my servant,

cmake many to be accounted righteous,

dand he shall bear their iniquities.

12  eTherefore I will divide him a portion with the many,10

fand he shall divide the spoil with the strong,11

because he poured out his soul to death

and was numbered with the transgressors;

gyet he bore the sin of many,

and makes intercession for the transgressors.

He's Always Been Faithful

A dear friend wrote me today and shared that he and his girlfriend broke up yesterday.  My heart goes out to him; I know (if not wholly, then at least in part) how he feels.  This is my heartfelt response to his email:

------------------------

My dear brother ______,

There's so much I want to say to comfort you right now, but I dare not depend on my own human words and efforts to bring you comfort.  I'm asking our Faithful Abba 天父 to comfort both of you.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and theGod of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." -2 Corinthians 1:2-4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lhtx417HwU

"He's Always Been Faithful"

Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

Morning by morning I wake up to find

The power and comfort of God's hand in mine

Season by season I watch Him, amazed

In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways

All I have need of, His hand will provide

He's always been faithful to me

I can't remember a trial or a pain

He did not recycle to bring me gain

I can't remember one single regret

In serving God only, and trusting His hand

All I have need of, His hand will provide

He's always been faithful to me

This is my anthem, this is my song

The theme of the stories I've heard for so long

God has been faithful, He will be again

His loving compassion, it knows no end

All I have need of, His hand will provide

He's always been faithful, He's always been faithful

He's always been faithful to me

May your heart be comforted and encouraged by these lyrics!  Keep your eyes on Jesus, beloved brother!

Your loving big sis,

Frances

Luke 15:1-2

Luke 15: 1-2 (NIV) Now the tax collectors and "sinners" were all gathering around to hear him.  But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them."

Luke 15: 1-2 (ESV) Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”

This morning during quiet time which took place during my brief break at work (setting: bench outside of the hospital building on Plaza level), when I read that Jesus welcomed and received sinners and would even choose to and want to hangout with them so as to share a meal and sit at the same table... unlike the Pharisees and teachers of the law who were irritated, dissatisfied, and grumbling, my heart found much reason to rejoice.  Great reason to rejoice, in fact!  For I belong to that category of "sinners".  And the fact that Jesus, the Holy One - God Incarnate - would want to humbly stoop low from His high place, His lofty throne in Heaven, just to meet me in my messy shame and ugly sinfulness and be my friend and dine with a sinner like me... that just really blows my mind and leaves my heart and soul drowning in joy and hope and thankfulness.

:)

Two Years

Today marks 2 whole years since the break-up.  I'm still alive and even doing well - PRAISE THE LORD!  That event and everything that followed over the span of the past 2 years was probably the most painful, heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced, but looking back, I'm super grateful for all that the Lord brought me through in His sovereignty, perfect wisdom, and loving care.  All that happened in the past two years was what my Father thought was best for me.  What a special time of precious sanctification - coming face to face with my deeply gross and disgusting sins and ugly pride, learning true repentance, experiencing and receiving God's abundant grace that pardons and cleanses within, growing in Christ likeness...

I have grown SOOOO MUCH (I can feel it!) - and it's all by God's grace.  He has grown me in areas of acceptance, contentment, forgiveness, thankfulness, joy, trust in God; putting to death self, idols, pride, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness... I am beyond grateful.  I know my Lord Jesus more intimately and deeply than I did two years ago.  I know the power of His resurrection more than I did two years ago.  I can say that I had the privilege and joy to share in His sufferings a little more than I did two years ago.

Even though T's not in my life anymore (at least not in the same way), I have Christ and that is enough!  Christ is sufficient for me!  He is everything to me; all I have is Christ.  And He is the reason why I am able to move forward - with my eyes fixed on my True and Eternal Love: Jesus.

:)